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Sold My Heart at a Pawn Shoppe, Baby At 11:41 AM by: Nana |
First of all, this blog is the best invention since Jenga. And that, dear readers, is a lofty accolade. Things I hate about my Flatmate is a blog where the author lists one thing per day which annoys them about their flatmate (roommate for those of you who aren't following along). The posts range from the trivial to the hilarious, and I recommend checking this blog out. Now, to more pressing matters.
<3
I don't think I need to remind anyone which day today is, as it's significance goes much farther than it being Monday. Yes, today one of the most derided and celebrated of all quasi-holidays, Valentine's Day. I'm sure you've heard all the insults and jibes about this day already, so I won't bore you (much). If you're anything like me, a callow, sunken husk of the man I once was, Valentine's Day can be an annoyance at the least. However, rather than curl up into a ball in the cupboard and wait for the day to be over, I have a few other solutions for people like myself. These are last ditch ideas for those of you who WANT to enjoy Valentine's Day, but don't have anyone to enjoy it with (either by choice, or chance... if it's chance then you suck).
Break up an existing relationship:
This idea is good for a number of reasons. First of all, you can make another person as miserable as you are! Second of all, it's fun (I'm told)! Destroy the foundations of V-day by becoming a home wrecker (NOT WORK SAFE). For added points, break up with the person tomorrow, thus making their life random and meaningless!
Confess to the apple of your eye:
Is there some guy/girl out there who you think is the bee's knees? Be mildly romantic and profess your undying love for them, extolling their virtues to the heavens. Make some sort of analogy about one of their body parts and something only passingly associated with said part (for example, eyes to stars, hair to fields of wheat, or leg to cricket bat).
Drunken rampage with your mates:
Yes, I said mates (arr). I don't really need to explain this one. You just get drunk. With your friends. Make sure it's cheap beer. Try and become blind. Oh, get some fried chicken too. Try and be as dirty as possible, because bringing yourself to an even lower level will make self pity all that much easier (annual event at my place!). Afterwards, run around parks or other public areas looking for HAPPY people, and harass them--choose your own methods, but I suggest water balloons.
So those are my suggestions for surviving Valentine's Day if you don't have a significant other. If you do, have a happy and wonderful day, but watch out for me trying to ruin it.
I don't think I need to remind anyone which day today is, as it's significance goes much farther than it being Monday. Yes, today one of the most derided and celebrated of all quasi-holidays, Valentine's Day. I'm sure you've heard all the insults and jibes about this day already, so I won't bore you (much). If you're anything like me, a callow, sunken husk of the man I once was, Valentine's Day can be an annoyance at the least. However, rather than curl up into a ball in the cupboard and wait for the day to be over, I have a few other solutions for people like myself. These are last ditch ideas for those of you who WANT to enjoy Valentine's Day, but don't have anyone to enjoy it with (either by choice, or chance... if it's chance then you suck).
Break up an existing relationship:
This idea is good for a number of reasons. First of all, you can make another person as miserable as you are! Second of all, it's fun (I'm told)! Destroy the foundations of V-day by becoming a home wrecker (NOT WORK SAFE). For added points, break up with the person tomorrow, thus making their life random and meaningless!
Confess to the apple of your eye:
Is there some guy/girl out there who you think is the bee's knees? Be mildly romantic and profess your undying love for them, extolling their virtues to the heavens. Make some sort of analogy about one of their body parts and something only passingly associated with said part (for example, eyes to stars, hair to fields of wheat, or leg to cricket bat).
Drunken rampage with your mates:
Yes, I said mates (arr). I don't really need to explain this one. You just get drunk. With your friends. Make sure it's cheap beer. Try and become blind. Oh, get some fried chicken too. Try and be as dirty as possible, because bringing yourself to an even lower level will make self pity all that much easier (annual event at my place!). Afterwards, run around parks or other public areas looking for HAPPY people, and harass them--choose your own methods, but I suggest water balloons.
So those are my suggestions for surviving Valentine's Day if you don't have a significant other. If you do, have a happy and wonderful day, but watch out for me trying to ruin it.
Tell a Friend:
4 Comments:
On this day of inequality I would like to promote a day which will hit close to home for many men. Why should women get to reap all the benefits of this holiday with no other equivalent day for men?
Thus I bring you Steak and BJ Day.
It only seems reasonable, right?
By
Anonymous, at 2/14/2005 05:05:00 PM
aww gross! u boyz!
By
Anonymous, at 2/14/2005 11:58:00 PM
It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to.
I second this motion for Steak and BJ day, preferably in that order so I can sleep afterwards.
By
Nana, at 2/15/2005 01:31:00 PM
clearly tis not known as Valentine's Day to many.... just a special holiday known as Single's Awareness Day - or SAD..
good times indeed :)
By
Anonymous, at 2/15/2005 11:52:00 PM
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