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The Death Knell of the Saturday Morning Cartoon At 5:09 PM by: Nana |
The Saturday Morning Cartoon is Dead.
This is nothing like when people say rock and roll is dead. I stand by my original statement: cartoons, especially those shown on Saturday mornings, are dead.
"But Nana!!! I love super powered fighting machines X!!!"
Then you're obviously in the wrong place, because I hate that show and I hate you even more.
The cartoons of today crave mindless violence (to the X-X-XTREME!), with no substance, story, or dialogue to speak of. You get 25 minutes of explosions and flashing lights, coupled with ninjas/pirates/robots, or some amalgamation of the three. Don't get me wrong or anything: I love pirates, robots are the best things in the world, and ninjas have a special place in my heart. But ONLY when used correctly.
The main problem with these shows versus the ones that we grew up loving is excess. New cartoons take the things that should be good and mutates them to the nth power, where n equals some extremely large number that even God's calculator needs to pause to compute. They then take these terribly malformed and stygian ideas and fuse them together in what can only be called some sort of terrible fusing synergy combining machine. I imagine that this machine is powered by the gnashing of people's teeth as they watch the end product.
I long, nay, I PINE, for the days of Transformers, GI Joe, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, Batman the Animated series, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. the days when you'd want to wake up early to catch these shows, skip bathing, and any activities that you had for the day. When the roller coaster ride ended at noon and you could get on with your life. When you'd switch between YTV, Fox, and NBC looking for the best shows.
Now I need to make a distinction (all you philosophy buffs may take a moment to groan here, I will wait for you to finish). First of all, I am exaggerating a bit. There are some cartoons that I still enjoy. Second, I understand that everything in life needs to grow to avoid stagnation. But when things get this bad I begin to question how good change actually is.
This is nothing like when people say rock and roll is dead. I stand by my original statement: cartoons, especially those shown on Saturday mornings, are dead.
"But Nana!!! I love super powered fighting machines X!!!"
Then you're obviously in the wrong place, because I hate that show and I hate you even more.
The cartoons of today crave mindless violence (to the X-X-XTREME!), with no substance, story, or dialogue to speak of. You get 25 minutes of explosions and flashing lights, coupled with ninjas/pirates/robots, or some amalgamation of the three. Don't get me wrong or anything: I love pirates, robots are the best things in the world, and ninjas have a special place in my heart. But ONLY when used correctly.
The main problem with these shows versus the ones that we grew up loving is excess. New cartoons take the things that should be good and mutates them to the nth power, where n equals some extremely large number that even God's calculator needs to pause to compute. They then take these terribly malformed and stygian ideas and fuse them together in what can only be called some sort of terrible fusing synergy combining machine. I imagine that this machine is powered by the gnashing of people's teeth as they watch the end product.
I long, nay, I PINE, for the days of Transformers, GI Joe, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, Batman the Animated series, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. the days when you'd want to wake up early to catch these shows, skip bathing, and any activities that you had for the day. When the roller coaster ride ended at noon and you could get on with your life. When you'd switch between YTV, Fox, and NBC looking for the best shows.
Now I need to make a distinction (all you philosophy buffs may take a moment to groan here, I will wait for you to finish). First of all, I am exaggerating a bit. There are some cartoons that I still enjoy. Second, I understand that everything in life needs to grow to avoid stagnation. But when things get this bad I begin to question how good change actually is.
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